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Carrying a coffin at a funeral is a solemn duty that reflects respect and love for the person who has passed away. For many, it is one of the highest honours a family member or close friend can be given, but it can also feel overwhelming to take on such an important role.
Because of this, it is natural to ask: How do you carry a coffin? Learning the correct technique, being mindful of safety and following proper etiquette helps protect the dignity of the ceremony while giving pallbearers the reassurance they need to carry out their role with care.
Carrying a coffin holds deep symbolic meaning. Pallbearers accompany the deceased on their final passage, guiding them with respect to their final resting place. This act conveys love, reverence and a strong sense of duty.
Historically, carrying a coffin at a funeral was a community responsibility. In many cultures, it was reserved for close male relatives or friends, though today it is common for both men and women to serve as pallbearers. Across traditions, the meaning remains the same: the role signifies closeness to the deceased and visible support for the grieving family.
Beyond cultural significance, there is also an emotional connection. For many pallbearers, the act brings comfort because it allows them to play an active part in the farewell. It is both a physical and symbolic gesture of carrying the weight of grief alongside the family, showing unity in a moment of loss.
There are two common approaches to carrying a coffin: Lifting onto the shoulder or holding at waist height. Shoulder carrying is the traditional method, often seen in formal services, allowing the coffin to be raised securely during the procession. On the other hand, waist-height carrying is often chosen in smaller chapels or narrow spaces where control and careful manoeuvring are required.
The choice between the two methods usually depends on the setting. A large church or outdoor ceremony may lend itself to a shoulder carry, while a more intimate venue might require the waist-height approach. In either case, coordination, safety and dignity are the guiding principles.
Pallbearers are usually chosen from among close relatives and friends, selected for their relationship with the deceased rather than physical strength alone. It is common to have six pallbearers, though some coffins may be carried by four or eight, depending on size and weight.
The positioning is carefully arranged, with each pallbearer taking a designated place along the coffin to maintain balance. Funeral directors provide guidance, ensuring that each person knows their role and feels comfortable before the ceremony begins.
Being prepared helps reduce anxiety and ensures the process runs smoothly on the day. Pallbearers should:
To lift safely, bend at the knees instead of the back and share the weight evenly as a group. Begin moving only once everyone is steady, keeping the coffin balanced and level, whether on the shoulder or at waist height.
During the procession, walk in step with one another. Move at a steady pace, neither too fast nor too slow, as this ensures balance and maintains the dignity of the ceremony. If stairs or uneven ground are involved, communicate clearly and take smaller, careful steps. In tight spaces, such as narrow aisles or doorways, it may be necessary to adjust grip or angle and this should be done calmly with guidance from the funeral director.
A frequent concern is the heaviness of the coffin, but this load is always divided among the pallbearers, making coordination essential. Funeral directors are often on hand to provide guidance and ensure the weight is managed properly.
Emotional strain can also be a challenge, especially for those closest to the person who has passed away. Taking a few deep breaths before lifting and focusing on the honour of the role can help steady nerves.
Furthermore, unexpected situations such as weather conditions, crowded spaces or uneven terrain can also arise. In these moments, it is important to remain calm, communicate with fellow pallbearers and follow the lead of the funeral director. Their experience ensures that adjustments are made smoothly without drawing attention away from the ceremony.
Acting as a pallbearer is both a privilege and a responsibility. It symbolises love, loyalty and respect, while offering tangible support to the family during one of the most difficult days of their lives.
For those who are nervous, remember that you are not alone. Funeral directors and staff will provide guidance every step of the way and the other pallbearers will share the responsibility with you. The focus should always be on safety, dignity and respect. When these values guide the process, carrying a coffin becomes a meaningful part of the farewell.
Carrying a coffin is both an honour and a responsibility and being prepared helps ensure the moment is carried out with dignity. Understanding the basics of preparation, safe technique and proper etiquette allows pallbearers to fulfil their role with confidence.
If you are ever uncertain, seek guidance from your funeral director or a trusted provider like Perth Cremations and Burials, who can offer clear direction and support. Most importantly, remember that this role is more than a practical duty – it plays a central role in the farewell and stands as a final expression of love for the person being laid to rest.
Carrying a coffin at a funeral can feel overwhelming, especially if it is your first time. Our team at Perth Cremations and Burials is here to provide guidance, reassurance and practical support so you know exactly what to expect on the day. We are committed to helping families create a ceremony that reflects dignity, care and respect in every detail. Visit our site today to view our funeral services and products (including coffins) to honour your loved one.
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